Jun 192015
 

Shrink Rap!” July 2015

Dennis C. Hartzog, M.Ed., LPC

Hi! Welcome back to “Shrink Rap!” It’s been a very long time since I’ve done this column for the Newsleather. I’m taking this opportunity to use this column to address an important issue within our community. Each month more and more individuals are experimenting with new and alternative behaviors and life styles. That includes Polyamorous relationships. This has been a healthy relationship choice that has enriched their life and those of their partners. For others however, it has been a disaster that has resulted in physical, emotional, and psychological pain. That trauma in not an inherent feature of poly relationships. It is a result of how many folks are going about being poly.

A poly client recently sent me a copy of the transcript below that is a blunt but honest description of the differences between healthy polyamory and un-healthy (in her words: “Fucked Up”) poly relationships. I wanted to use this column to share it with you.

On the Difference Between Polyamory and Fucked Up,”

Rachel Greene, (Transcript)

When I tell people I’m in a polyamorous relationship, a lot of times they think I’m talking about this other type of open relationship called “fucked up.”

They think that agreeing not to be exclusive means that my partners and I make a point to sleep with lots and lots of people and have no accountability for each other’s feelings because “well, we agreed to it.” That is fucked up.

Choosing to open your relationship because that relationship isn’t working but you’re too co-dependently tangled up in each other’s shit to admit that,

and then brining a third or fourth or fifth or by extension sixth person into your big sloppy joe mess, which then turns into more of an all-you-can-eat buffet of weirdness and dysfunction, is fucked up.

Coercing your partner into opening your relationship because you are incapable of fully appreciating what you have and only find satisfaction in seeking more, or because you would rather paint an imaginary sunrise than quietly watch as the sun rises, is fucked up.

Widening your web will pull on the threads of trust and understanding you have woven, so polyamory is opening your relationship because these threads between you are strong.

Polyamory is being friends with your lover’s lover, or not being friends with them, or being their lover too, but knowing that you cannot truly gain at their expense.

On the other hand, playing along while muttering incantations to make your lover’s other partners disappear, finding every chance to display yourself like a blue ribbon pig at a fair, or taking care of your partner in ways they aught to take care of them self just to make sure that they need you as much as you think you need them, is fucked up.

Getting tested for STDs is polyamory.

Lying is fucked up.

Communicating with your partners about your other relationships is polyamory.

Not communicating and being passive aggressive is fucked up.

Making the effort to figure out what actually works for everyone is polyamory.

Being a selfish, manipulative shit head is fucked up.

Polyamory is not the man going off to the whorehouse while the woman is stuck at home with the kids. That’s like some kind of vintage-style fucked up.

Polyamory is him/her asking me about my date because he/she wants to share my excitement. His/her jealousy all mixed up with inspiration and transformed into attentive, honest caresses. His/her jealousy is not fists sinking into curved bodies in a sick plea for validation.

His/her jealousy is not guilt trip or ownership or running away.

I have a confession: I’ve done fucked up. And my partners have done fucked up. But it’s hard when all the songs on the radio tell us polyamory is fucked up. Those songs tell me I deserve someone who can “gimme all their lovin’,” but an exclusive mutual ownership contract is not the only thing that allows hearts to be true.

I deserve someone who I can trust enough to watch their heart be free. I deserve someone who can maintain their sense of self-worth long enough to realize that no one person can, or should try, to meet all of my needs for love and connection.

For me, polyamory is freely discovering what unique emergent property we can create when our elements collide, rather than following a frantic quest for perfection in the form of one shining soul.

We all deserve to be loved for who we are, not what someone has always wanted us to be. And don’t assume that our genuine attempt to find what we deserve is somehow fucked up.

End.

Recently I have been very fortunate to work and refer clients to two mental health professionals; Brent Glass, M.Ed., LPC, and Shawn Chrisman, M.S., LPC. who are highly skilled and very open to working with members of alternative life-style communities, including Kink and Poly, who are in need of counseling. One of their areas of expertise is Poly relationships. They have agreed to do a presentation on healthy Poly relationships at the July 7, 2015 NLA Dallas meeting. It is a great chance to come and meet these skilled and caring professionals and also get some factual and useful information on making your relationships healthy! I look forward to seeing you all again, and introducing Brent and Shawn to you.

Warm regards, Dennis H.

Jun 172015
 

By Bushido_Bard

In a world…  Where people gather to sing…  One charity; eight songs…  Money flying everywhere…  Four motley fools shaking their asses and mouths!  Beyond Vanilla 25’s first launch party of 2015 was a screaming success.  The Dallas Eagle was proud to host the famous lip sync battle that followed the beginning of the Beyond Vanilla 25 season.  If you missed it, you…really…missed it.  Here’s why…

 

First, the four contestants were paraded before the crowd so the audience could glimpse the “fresh meat” that was to be displayed before them.  Mama Payne was on hand to emcee the event and she was in full swing with introductions and a running, witty commentary.  Soon the contest began with Malcolm, TC, Leo, and yours truly Bard, dancing and flaunting themselves along with their chosen song selections.

 

Our heroes were not just dancing and gyrating for the fun of it however…  Although it could be said that these four do not need much in the way of motivation to get up and act like fools.  Funds were being raised for the Sharon St. Cyr Fund and the HPOL/IPTC Travel Funds.  Audience members were encouraged to donate to these causes in the form of tipping the dancers/singers as they performed.  In some cases the entertainers offered their belts and hips in order for audience members to slip dollar bills inside.  Why use the money bucket in front when you can have a more personal experience?!

 

TC and Malcolm raised enough money to go on to the second round to determine first place, while Bard and Leo fought for third.  The songs became more personal and raunchy for the second rounds…  Two participants decided that more flesh must be flashed in order to achieve victory; Bard and TC.  While TC began his second song without his shirt, the Bard decided that losing the shirt during the song in an ode to 80’s music videos was the surest path to victory.  Alas, yours truly did not raise more money than TC and he was crowned the winner of the lip sync battle for 2015.

 

When the dust had cleared and Mama Payne was handed the results, we had raised $600 for Sharon St. Cyr Fund and the HPOL/IPTC Travel Funds!!  A great thank you goes out to all the people who competed and for the Dallas Eagle for hosting.  The hard working folks of the Beyond Vanilla Committee put together a wonderful show that was enjoyed for all in attendance.  A few of us had to leave before the bar closed, but the manner in which people were talking about the show proved it was a night worthy of the Leather Gods!
A huge thank you to all that donated and signed up for Beyond Vanilla 25!!!

Jun 162015
 

Wednesday June 17th

Dallas Eagle -Underwear Night- 10-Midnight

SLUTS Club Night- Hidden Door Back Bar- 7:30-10:30pm

Thursday June 18th

Dallas Eagle- Pint Night

Club Reflection- Rhonda Mae’s Wall of Food Show 7-11pm

Saturday June 20th

UCLSE- “It Takes 2,3 or More Show” 6-10 at Dallas Eagle Hosted by the CPR’s Delilah DeVasquez & Jay Finch

Sunday June 21st – Fathers Day

Tarrant County Gay Pride Assoc (TCGPA) meeting at Barron’s House from 3-5pm

Club Reflection- Cowtown Leathermen Cookout/Fundraiser from 4-7pm

Dallas Eagle- 80’s Dance Party from 5-9pm

Club Reflection- Terry & Mary’s Show from 7-10pm

Wednesday June 24th

Hidden Door- United Court of the Lone Star Empire (UCLSE) Club Night 7:30-10:30

Club Changes- Wall of Food Meeting from 8-10pm

Thursday June 25th

Club Reflection- Texas Gay Rodeo Assoc; Candidate Show from 7-10pm

Saturday June 27th

Dallas Eagle- NLA Leather Perspectives “Why We Wear Leather” w/ Ms Boots 1:30-4

Dallas Eagle-United Court of the Lone Star Empire (UCLSE) Diva/Divo Show 5-10pm

Sunday June 28th

Cancer Care Services-FW- International Court de Fort Worth Arlington (ICFWA) 1-3

Trinity River Bears 4th Sunday; Noon-1:30 brunch at Shaw’s/ then to Club Reflection 2-4 Club Meeting & 4-7 Cookout/Fundriser

Club Reflection – Court Show with ICFWA from 7-10pm

Tuesday June 30th

John Thomas Resource Center- NLA Dallas EC Meeting from 7-9pm

Wednesday July 1st

Hidden Door- T-Bear Club Night from 7-10pm

Saturday July 4th

Dallas Eagle- TGRA: Miss Firecracker Pageant from 6-10pm

Dallas Eagle- Leather Knights-Leather Night from 9-11pm

Sunday July 5th

Dallas Eagle- Trash Disco from 5-9pm

 

*June 27th-Fall Frolick Planning Meeting -Ft Worth -at the home of Phillip and Desiree. Please email for the address if you would like to attend: leo@nladallas.org

 

*August 15th-NTXCC Meeting 2pm Club Reflection

Jun 142015
 

2015 06 Leather Perspectives

Join us for LEATHER PERSPECTIVES!

Saturday, June 27th
2:00 PM
(Doors open at 1:30 PM)
The Dallas Eagle
FREE for members
$5 for non-members (Join for $25/year!)

In June we will have Ms Boots speaking on Why We Wear Leather.

For more information visit www.NLADallas.org

The fourth Saturday of each month NLA-Dallas invites a person walking a leather journey, to present on leather related topic from his or her perspective (as there is no “one twue way”).

Doors will open at 1:30 pm and the class will start at 2 pm. The session will be held at our local leather & Levi bar, The Dallas Eagle!

• This class is FREE to NLA Dallas members and $5 for non-members.
• Bring a friend with you who might be interested in the leather/fetish/SM lifestyle!
• Members, please be sure to bring your current NLA card.
• Non-members can join for $25/yr.
Attendees must be at least 21 years of age based on the location.

Leather Perspectives is a monthly event sponsored by NLA-Dallas. NLA-Dallas is a DFW based organization focused on the education of those interested in and/or living the leather/SM/fetish lifestyle. As a gateway leather club, NLA-Dallas is open to people of all walks of life regardless of orientation or identification. We invite you to join us for a General Membership meeting on the first Tuesday of each month, a Leather Perspectives on the fourth Saturday of each month, or an Advanced Workshop each quarter.

BIO

Ms Boots has been involved in the BDSM and Leather lifestyle for well over 30 years, and started her journey as a submissive, or as she later learned the distinction, a bottom. It was this start that gives Ms Boots a greater insight into the different perspective of the submissive/bottom mindset. Ms Boots feels that one needs a strong mind and perhaps a few wicked thoughts to successfully lead a submissive on a wonderful journey. “It takes a strong man to know himself well enough to get on his knees before me.” This is the basic principle that Ms Boots follows in her interaction with the male submissive.

Ms Boots has been active in the DFW area Leather and BDSM community for many years. She is Ms. South Central Leather Woman 2007 and also NLA-International Woman of the Year 2008. She has served on the Executive Committee of NLA-Dallas for several years as Social Director. She was Co-Director for Beyond Vanilla 15 and 16 and served on the board for several years. Ms Boots founded The Bound Rose Society, 16 years ago, which has evolved into a hands-on educational organization. She has also served as a mentor with the Dallas Mentors Group mentoring both submissive and dominants. In the past she has held several elected positions which include Social Director for NLA-Dallas; Vice Chair for The North Texas Council of Clubs (NTXCC) and member-at-large for National Leather Association-International (NLA-I). She was a member of the Awards Committee for NLA-I and the first organizer of the Silent Auction for Women’s International Leather Fest.

As a proud member of Mama’s Family, Ms Boots is a crusader of getting more lifestyle/leather people involved in their local communities. Ms Boots feels that if we don’t give something back to our community everything our elders have worked for will fade away. This community was available for us when we began our journey, and we need to do our part to help sustain it for others to enjoy in the future. “We must share our knowledge with those coming into the lifestyle so that this way of life will continue to grow.” With this thought in mind, Ms Boots has shared her knowledge and expertise through numerous demos and classes on a variety of topics. She has personally mentored many to help them gain a better understanding of their place in the culture.

Ms Boots resides in Fort Worth, Texas, living in the house her boy of many years, Randy, left for her to live out her life. Her favorite play toy is the violet wand, followed close with mind fucks and sensory deprivation. When all three components come together in one scene it is a hot time in the city. She has taught several classes; Cupping; Violet Wand; Negotiations; Kink for Dinner; Duct Tape; The Development of Bodily Senses, and Perverted Penny Pinching.

She is currently focusing her energy on personal health issues and is on a volunteer staff for The Sanctuary of Lifestyles Art. Walking in both the Leather and BDSM lifestyles has many different rewards, each unique with their own protocols and attitudes.

On a personal side note, I would like to thank all the people who have supported me over the years. My outspoken opinions were not always the popular responses, but I am gratefully to be associated with people who believe in diversity and freedom, not only of speech but of actions. The Leather community has evolved from my first ‘biker’ experiences to a group of people that support others to be true to themselves and to live what some people only talk about. Thank You! Ms Boots

Jun 102015
 

Good day to you all,

 

Here is the packet (below) for the Mr and Miss Fall Frolick Pageant to be held during Fall Frolick weekend ( November 20-22, 2015). We would love contestants from all of our member clubs to apply. If you or someone you know would represent your club well and be a leading light in our community then please encourage them to step up.

 

All of our North Texas clubs have worthy charities and causes that they support. The Mr and Miss Fall Frolick contestants and title holders are meant to and even encouraged to show others in our community and beyond how dedicated the clubs in North Texas are to helping each other and those in need. Just imagine how much more revenue and support we could supply to those charities and causes when we all work together and participate in one another’s events. The Mr and Miss Fall Frolick contestants and title holders can offer that kind of gift to our North Texas Clubs. Would you please consider joining us as a pageant contestant.

 

Miss Nina Morgan and Mr Daddy Love are our current title holders. They are working to put together this event and several others. Do check with them concerning possible fundraising as a pageant contestant.

 

Please feel free to contact any of the board members with any further questions. Our board members are listed at: www.NTXCC.org

 

We ask that you forward this on to your club officers and members to better spread the word and the opportunity for participation.

Thank you and we look forward to seeing you in November!

Mr and Miss Fall Frolic packet

Jun 032015
 

This Sunday June 7th is the NTXCC Meeting. It will be at the home of Messy & Larry from noon until about 2pm. If you need directions please email me: leo@nladallas.org

_____________________________________________________

The North Texas Council of Clubs (NTXCC) is pleased to announce it is accepting submissions for Fall Frolick 2015 pin, poster and T-shirt artwork.

 

Fall Frolick is an annual event produced by the member clubs and organizations of the North Texas Council of Clubs.   NTXCC was created to foster brother/sister hood amongst its member clubs, organizations, courts, bars and businesses.  The annual Fall
Frolick event is a 3 day event designed to allow local North Texans as well as our out of town guests to network and socialize.  November 20-22, 2015 marks our fifth Fall Frolick weekend.

 

Submissions for the pin design must include the following verbiage: “Fall Frolick 2015”, “NTXCC” and use the colors black, brown, orange, red and yellow.  It must also include the dates November 20-22.

 

The poster must have the following verbiage: “Fall Frolick”, “NTXCC presents”, “Dallas-Fort Worth”, the dates November 20-22, 2015, and use the colors black, brown, orange, red and yellow.  The posters should be 11 X 17.

 

The T-shirt design must have the following verbiage: “Fall Frolick”, the dates November 20-22, 2015 and use the colors black, brown, orange, red and yellow.

 

Everyone is invited to submit artwork for the pin, poster, T-shirt or all three.  Each person can submit as many times as they wish.   The contest will run from June 1, 2015 to June 19, 2015.   Artwork may be submitted by email and must be received by midnight June 19, 2015.  The email address to use is ffartwork@yahoo.com.   All artwork should be at 300dpi.

 

An announcement of the winners will be made at an upcoming NTXCC event.  The winning entries will each receive a $50 cash prize.  All submissions become the property of the North Texas Council of Clubs.

.

 

If you have any questions they may be sent to ffartwork@yahoo.com.

 

Rodney Riley

Director

Fall Frolick 2015

Jun 032015
 

NLABarNight

Join us Saturday, June 13th, 9:00 – 11:00 PM for the NLA Dallas Bar Night.

Bar Night is a time for members and non-members to come out and support our local Leather & Levi bar – The Dallas Eagle! We’ll have a few drinks, smoke a few cigars, and just enjoy the company of other leatherfolk for the evening. Whatever your plans, add NLA Dallas Bar Night to them on the second Saturday of the month!

NLA Dallas Bar Night is a monthly event sponsored by NLA Dallas. NLA Dallas is a DFW based organization focused on the education of those interested in and/or living the leather/SM/fetish lifestyle. As a gateway leather club, NLA Dallas is open to people of all walks of life regardless of orientation or identification. We invite you to join us for a General Membership meeting on the first Tuesday of each month, Bar Night on the second Saturday, Leather Perspectives on the fourth Saturday of each month, or an Advanced Workshop each quarter.

Jun 022015
 

Here are this month’s upcoming NLA events! Join us tonight at the General Meeting for more information!

May General Meeting
Tuesday, June 2nd
7:00 – 9:00 PM
The Resource Center, Dallas
Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/events/1627431907468956/
Fetlife – https://fetlife.com/events/347422

Bar Night
Saturday, June 13th
9:00 – 11:00 PM
The Dallas Eagle
Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/events/1604887236444912/
Fetlife – https://fetlife.com/events/347420

Leather Perspectives – TBD
Saturday, June 20th
2:00 PM (Doors open at 1:30)
The Dallas Eagle
Facebook – coming soon!
Fetlife – coming soon!

July General Meeting
Tuesday, July 7th
7:00 – 9:00 PM
The Resource Center, Dallas
Facebook – coming soon!
Fetlife – coming soon!

May 272015
 

General Meeting

NLA-Dallas June General Meeting

Tuesday, June 2nd, 7:00 – 9:00 PM at The Resource Center, Dallas

Leather Wisdom will be Master Tallen on HPOL & IPT Contests

Presentation will be Master Tallen on mummification

ALSO, the revised Bylaws and Policies & Procedures (P&P) will be presented. Please send any questions to the co-chairs ahead of the meeting (neko@nladallas.org and debi@nladallas.org)

It will be a great evening, everyone is welcome whether you are a member or not.

The first Tuesday of each month NLA Dallas hosts a general meeting for current and prospective members. The brief business portion is followed by a presentation on a relevant topic. Leather Wisdom is a brief discussion early in the meeting on a mini topic or brief introduction to a larger subject matter.