NLA Dallas

Feb 012016
 

This Month we turn our member spotlight on Charles who is the current NLA Membership director.

What first brought you to NLA?
Beyond Vanilla 18 in 2008.

What is it about NLA that makes it feel like home to you?

A diverse community thanks to the inclusiveness of the group.

If pressed, I’d identify myself as…
A long time handcuff collector inspired by rope bondage.

Define what “Leather” is to you?
Kink with honor, respect and pride.

What are your top 3 Leather/kink passions?
Whips, chains, and last but not least handcuffs!

What are your top 3 Vanilla passions?
Trains, bicycles, and photography

What was your first experience with Leather?
Beyond Vanilla 18 in 2008.

What is your most memorable Leather moment?
The sense of discovery enjoyed at Beyond Vanilla 18 in 2008.

What do you feel NLA is doing well?
Building and educating a strong and respectable community.

What changes would you like to see in NLA?
Greater visibility and recruiting efforts.

Jan 072016
 

 

 

Do you have computer skills? Organizational skills? PR skills? Hospitality/service skills? Creativity? Are you looking for a way to put those skills to use while providing a valuable service to the community? Please consider applying to join us in the planning, organization, and execution of Beyond Vanilla 26!

 

What does volunteering for the BV26 Committee entail?

 

This is a significant time commitment that requires:

 

  • Meeting once a month on the third Monday of the month from 7:00-9:00PM at the Dallas Eagle (February—September, 2016). We may have extra meetings in the weeks preceding the event.
  • Your reliable and committed time and energy outside of committee meetings to the planning and promotion of Beyond Vanilla 26.
  • Your time and energy to the behind-the-scenes execution of Beyond Vanilla 26 during the conference weekend, Oct 14-16, 2016.

 

General skills needed:

 

  • Ability to prioritize workload to meet deadlines.
  • Communication and listening skills.
  • Easy access to and use of a computer and phone for communication outside of committee meetings.
  • Teamwork and willingness to support other team members.
  • A sense of fun and excitement for this event and its planning.

 

How do you apply to volunteer for the BV 26 Planning Committee?

 

  • Email the Co-directors at chairs@beyondvanilla.org no later than January 19, 2016.
  • Name the department(s) for which you’d like to volunteer. (For greater consideration, indicate more than one department). Please indicate the skills/talents you bring to the table for each of these departments.

 

Registration (computer skills, organizational skills, accounting skills)

 

Workshops (communication skills, PR skills, organizational skills, hospitality/service skills,              creativity)

 

Marketing (computer—social networking skills, organizational skills, PR skills, communication

skills–written and oral, sales, creativity)

 

Play Party (physical strength, DM training, observational skills)

 

Vending (communication skills—written and oral, PR skills, organizational skills, hospitality/service skills, creativity, sales)

 

Security (observational skills, organizational skills, strategic planning, communication skills)

 

Silent Auction (communication skills, PR skills, transportation, time management skills, helps if you know leather care)

 

Volunteers (communication skills—written and oral, PR skills, hospitality/service skills, time        management skills, organizational skills).

 

  • After emailing your application to volunteer, you will receive an email confirming receipt of your application.
  • You will either receive notification that all positions on the committee have been filled and offering the opportunity to sign up to volunteer during the conference weekend, or you will be offered a position on the committee.

 

Benefits of volunteering:

 

  • Be instrumental in setting the conference vision.
  • Work with other dedicated and talented leaders in the community.
  • Free access to the event, including the run pin, key note dinner, and play party.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jun 192015
 

Shrink Rap!” July 2015

Dennis C. Hartzog, M.Ed., LPC

Hi! Welcome back to “Shrink Rap!” It’s been a very long time since I’ve done this column for the Newsleather. I’m taking this opportunity to use this column to address an important issue within our community. Each month more and more individuals are experimenting with new and alternative behaviors and life styles. That includes Polyamorous relationships. This has been a healthy relationship choice that has enriched their life and those of their partners. For others however, it has been a disaster that has resulted in physical, emotional, and psychological pain. That trauma in not an inherent feature of poly relationships. It is a result of how many folks are going about being poly.

A poly client recently sent me a copy of the transcript below that is a blunt but honest description of the differences between healthy polyamory and un-healthy (in her words: “Fucked Up”) poly relationships. I wanted to use this column to share it with you.

On the Difference Between Polyamory and Fucked Up,”

Rachel Greene, (Transcript)

When I tell people I’m in a polyamorous relationship, a lot of times they think I’m talking about this other type of open relationship called “fucked up.”

They think that agreeing not to be exclusive means that my partners and I make a point to sleep with lots and lots of people and have no accountability for each other’s feelings because “well, we agreed to it.” That is fucked up.

Choosing to open your relationship because that relationship isn’t working but you’re too co-dependently tangled up in each other’s shit to admit that,

and then brining a third or fourth or fifth or by extension sixth person into your big sloppy joe mess, which then turns into more of an all-you-can-eat buffet of weirdness and dysfunction, is fucked up.

Coercing your partner into opening your relationship because you are incapable of fully appreciating what you have and only find satisfaction in seeking more, or because you would rather paint an imaginary sunrise than quietly watch as the sun rises, is fucked up.

Widening your web will pull on the threads of trust and understanding you have woven, so polyamory is opening your relationship because these threads between you are strong.

Polyamory is being friends with your lover’s lover, or not being friends with them, or being their lover too, but knowing that you cannot truly gain at their expense.

On the other hand, playing along while muttering incantations to make your lover’s other partners disappear, finding every chance to display yourself like a blue ribbon pig at a fair, or taking care of your partner in ways they aught to take care of them self just to make sure that they need you as much as you think you need them, is fucked up.

Getting tested for STDs is polyamory.

Lying is fucked up.

Communicating with your partners about your other relationships is polyamory.

Not communicating and being passive aggressive is fucked up.

Making the effort to figure out what actually works for everyone is polyamory.

Being a selfish, manipulative shit head is fucked up.

Polyamory is not the man going off to the whorehouse while the woman is stuck at home with the kids. That’s like some kind of vintage-style fucked up.

Polyamory is him/her asking me about my date because he/she wants to share my excitement. His/her jealousy all mixed up with inspiration and transformed into attentive, honest caresses. His/her jealousy is not fists sinking into curved bodies in a sick plea for validation.

His/her jealousy is not guilt trip or ownership or running away.

I have a confession: I’ve done fucked up. And my partners have done fucked up. But it’s hard when all the songs on the radio tell us polyamory is fucked up. Those songs tell me I deserve someone who can “gimme all their lovin’,” but an exclusive mutual ownership contract is not the only thing that allows hearts to be true.

I deserve someone who I can trust enough to watch their heart be free. I deserve someone who can maintain their sense of self-worth long enough to realize that no one person can, or should try, to meet all of my needs for love and connection.

For me, polyamory is freely discovering what unique emergent property we can create when our elements collide, rather than following a frantic quest for perfection in the form of one shining soul.

We all deserve to be loved for who we are, not what someone has always wanted us to be. And don’t assume that our genuine attempt to find what we deserve is somehow fucked up.

End.

Recently I have been very fortunate to work and refer clients to two mental health professionals; Brent Glass, M.Ed., LPC, and Shawn Chrisman, M.S., LPC. who are highly skilled and very open to working with members of alternative life-style communities, including Kink and Poly, who are in need of counseling. One of their areas of expertise is Poly relationships. They have agreed to do a presentation on healthy Poly relationships at the July 7, 2015 NLA Dallas meeting. It is a great chance to come and meet these skilled and caring professionals and also get some factual and useful information on making your relationships healthy! I look forward to seeing you all again, and introducing Brent and Shawn to you.

Warm regards, Dennis H.

Mar 302015
 
Fooling around with Sharpy and Pointy and cutting and sticking.
*Come explore all the ways to use sharp and pointy objects to enhance your scenes.*
What: Bound Rose
When: April 1, 2015
Time: 7pm -10pm
Where: The Sanctuary
Cost: $5/Sanctuary members $15 for every one else
Why: To educate, learn, share and grow BDSM skills.
Who: Master Neko and koneko (see bio below)
Agenda:
7-8 social/eating Please bring something to share.
8-9 demo/learning hands on
9-10 Play allowed in back dungeon. Dungeon rules and etiquette apply. Front dungeon will be lighted to encourage learning and practicing skills.
Please RSVP. Click on link below or contact MstsBoots
Bios:
About Master Neko & koneko
Neko has been in the lifestyle for eighteen years. His travels and learning in the lifestyle began as a collared slave. After almost 2 years, his Mistress felt he was on the wrong end of the flogger and spent 3 years training him to provide the proper care and feeding for his own slaves in the future, as well as building upon the Leather history, traditions, and ideals of his previous training.
Through his training, he discovered a desire to educate others about our lifestyle – helping people to understand and find personal acceptance of the deep, dark parts of us that we keep locked away. To that end, he has given presentations on such topics as (in no particular order and not limited to) fear play, mind fucks, interrogation, sword/knife play, orgasm control, rough body, blood play, body mechanics, medical play, stapling, electricity, sensory deprivation, liquid latex, needles, mummification, humiliation, rope 101, predicament bondage, and shibari. He enjoys dishing out a variety of sadism when he plays as well as being an active part of the community.
Prior to Texas, he was a part of the New York scene where he presented, played, and did fetish and rave photography. In Dallas, he ran the Bound Rose Society for four years with his slave, koneko. During 2008, he led the local bondage SIG group: DFW Bound2 and this year, they have picked up the reins again. He is a Mentor in the Dallas Mentors Program, volunteers at the local dungeon, Sanctuary, is a co-chair at NLA-Dallas and does security for Beyond Vanilla along with continuing to present when asked. He’s presented in places such as New York, Dallas, Austin, Colorado, Blanco, and Temple.
He has had as many as four slaves at one time, (which makes him certifiably insane) though currently, he owns one slave, koneko, who has been with him since 2002 in a 24/7 relationship.
koneko has been walking a kinky path since 1991 with the last twelve being blessed in service to Master Neko. She is a bi, poly, Leather kitten, and slave who loves kink education. koneko is also Wiccan, first initiated over twenty years ago and a teaching elder since 1999. During her Leather path, she has been given opportunities to serve the community through a number of venues, such as volunteering at the Dallas dungeon Sanctuary, Bound Rose Society, NLA-Dallas, Beyond Vanilla, Darker Paths, Fourth Friday, and in the Dallas and National submissive Mentor Programs. She has also been gifted with opportunities to teach as well as co-teach with Master Neko at several kink groups and events in Dallas, Austin, Colorado, Blanco, and Temple. koneko loves dancing under the moon, bottoming to her Master’s wild scenes, serving privately and publicly, having a full life, and enjoying the journey she is on.
Feb 272015
 

Due to the winter weather and seeming continuation of it, I’ve consulted with our Leather Perspectives presenter and we’re in agreement that for everyone’s safety, we’re cancelling February’s Leather Perspectives.

Please stay safe and mark your calendars for March 28 with Daddy Rose on Overcoming Obstacles in the Path of D/s, April 25 for our Leather Panel, and Our Bald Ewok in a Wookie World will be back for May 23!

Thank you, everyone.
Enjoying the Journey,
Master Neko’s kitten, koneko
Feb 132015
 

Leather Perspectives – Past Present, and Future

An Afternoon with Master David Walker

By Bushido_Bard

Master David began his Leather journey in 1980 by being introduced into it from a friend. His friend happened to be gay and already in the lifestyle so Master David was introduced to his first Leather house. Although he identified as straight, he was still welcome in the house; albeit at the lowest rank. Only after years of service and dedication was he able to earn his leathers and grow within the culture of Leather. This afternoon he shared his thoughts and perspectives on Leather’s history; where we’ve been and where we’re going.

During the early 80’s there was a club in San Francisco called “Catacombs” and it was America’s first dungeon. It began as a gay men’s only club but soon included lesbians, bi, and hetero customers. This of course was not wholly accepted by the gay community, but it was a major transition for Leather at the time. Master David witnessed new terms; the Sexual Frontier and words were being adopted such as S/M standing for sensuality and mutuality. It meant to encompass everyone and to exclude none. Change was arriving and it would transform into what we may consider a beginning to our modern Leather.

Leather, as it began after World War 2, had a formal military structure that allowed no room for mistrust. What happened in Leather stayed in Leather; the ability to keep secrets was essential. Master David was quick to say, “Perhaps the most famous tradition to come from our past is the earning of leathers and the ranking system involved. Your earned leathers represented your level of trust and where you were in your journey.” Traditions are what keeps us connected to our past and provides for the future.

When speaking of Leather and its past, Master David promoted the idea that Leather is a tribal experience. By using this example he illustrated the way in which Leather folk interacted with each other as well as the protocols and traditions shared by all. A tribal structure allows for a more intimate gathering of people; it becomes like a family. Within a family there are certain rules and laws that are honored. Respect has to be earned and people are held to a certain standard. Ultimately you were not required to like everyone in the tribe, but you must render the respect that their behavior and dedication warranted.

During the 1980’s the AIDS crisis heavily impacted Leather and the gay community and eventually Leather became politically active. With the stigma that followed AIDS, many within the Leather community became inactive for reasons of health or fear. Many families were destroyed during this time… Due to the efforts of the supporters for AIDS awareness the World Health Organization recognized the first World AIDS Day and President Bush signed into law the Ryan White Care Act. Although the views concerning AIDS were changing, Leather was forever affected.

Master David smiled when he said, “The1990’s brought us the best and worst thing to happen to Leather…the Internet”. The Internet has allowed people to connect in more discreet ways and it is easier to locate groups and Leather families. Leather and BDSM education is also easier to access as well as “how to” videos. The biggest downside, according to Master David, unfortunately is that the anonymity of the internet permits “experts” to misrepresent Leather and distort information. What is the ultimate verdict? Time will tell if the ability to instantly communicate will be a boon or bane for Leather…

Where does that leave us for the new century? Master David offered this, “What we know as Leather is dying. The lifestyle is being watered down with political correctness”. It can also be said that anyone who speaks about real issues or concerns is immediately ridiculed by those who know nothing about the community or the speaker. Master David also commented that many in Leather are treating it like a cafeteria; taking what they want and leaving what they do not. Traditional Leather is changing, but is it dying or simply growing beyond its roots? With the inclusion of pansexual identities and a more democratic organization what do we see in the future?

Master David ended his presentation with a series of “what if” questions and they entailed some perspectives on the future of Leather. The first pondered if Leather is missing anything now that it had in its past. Is there a missing link between the beginning of Leather and its current iteration? What if we could change our trajectory? Perhaps more importantly, should we adopt a military style again but with slight modifications? Has Leather overall become too lax in its execution?

In conclusion, Master David insisted that fresh blood is needed for Leather to survive but there seems to be too many groups that separate us rather than unite us. Tribes and clubs are small, intimate, and familial. As we get larger we lose the intimacy that’s needed for more traditional Leather. Master David said, “I wanna find younger people to teach leadership to. This doesn’t mean that you immediately make them rulers.” Master David was fond of saying throughout the afternoon, “Leather is a ride, but not always an upward ride.”

Where do you see Leather going? What will you do to see it get there?

Jan 212015
 
Come Warm up those cold winter nights!
What: Bound Rose
When:February 4, 2015
Time: 7pm -10pm
Where: The Sanctuary
Cost: $5/Sanctuary members $15 for every one else
Why: To educate, learn, share and grow BDSM skills.
Who: Ms Tressa (see class description and bio below)
*Bound Rose invites you to discover the true nature of fire play with MsTressa as she demonstrates and educates various aspects of scening with fire. Additionally, MsTressa will also go into further detail regarding fire safety, procuring and storing implements, and fire play-related aftercare.*
Agenda:
7-8 social/eating Please bring something to share.
8-9 demo/learning hands on
9-10 Play allowed in back dungeon. Dungeon rules and etiquette apply. Front dungeon will be lighted to encourage learning and practicing skills.
Please RSVP. Click on link below or contact MstsBoots
Biography
Although Ms Tressa explored the fringes of kink for many years prior, it was not until Fall of 2010 that at the urging of a dear friend she began to explore kink in its entirety. She successfully completed the Dallas Mentors Program in December 2011, and as part of that process gained a deeper understanding and acceptance of herself as both a dominant and sadist. Since then, she has developed a lasting connection to the Dallas/Ft.Worth kink community and has established herself as both a leader and educator. Ms Tressa is a founding member and leader of two groups in the D/FW area. Plano Area Kinksters is a small group of locals enjoying generic kink social activities. Keepers of the Sacred Flame is dedicated to the education and experience of fire play in all its various forms.
The Art of Fire Play
Fire is one of the most alluring and yet frightening forces of nature, and it is inherent that one fears fire for its destructiveness. Fire burns, fire devours, and still it inspires. In Greek mythology, Prometheus gave fire to humanity, allowing it to flourish and survive. Fire in its true form is merely the combustion of a propellant in such a way that energy is expelled in the form of heat and light as a material is consumed.
Most people new to play fear fire because of its destructive nature, and those fears can be well warranted. But in truth, fire in the hands of an experienced fire player can be both exciting, sensual, erotic, and edgy.
Jan 052015
 

“I WILL make you talk!”

World wide presenter/author Hardy Haberman will teach us out to get information from those pesky bottoms. His methods will surprise, astound and maybe shock you, But he will NOT be denied.

This is your chance to witness one of the best known and experienced Leather Man of our time work his magic. (Secret – he really does do magic shows as well.) LOL

What: Bound Rose
When: January 7, 2015
Time: 7pm -10pm
Where: The Sanctuary
Cost: $5/Sanctuary members $15 for every one else
Why: To educate, learn, share and grow BDSM skills.
Who: Hardy Haberman (see class description and bio below)

Door Prizes:
* One free Admit to any Sanctuary event.
* One free admit to any Bound Rose Meeting.

Agenda:

7-8 social/eating Please bring something to share.

8-9 demo/learning hands on

9-10 Play allowed in back dungeon. Dungeon rules and etiquette apply. Front dungeon will be lighted to encourage learning and practicing skills.

Please RSVP. Click on link below or contact MstsBoots

https://fetlife.com/events/308195

Bio:

Since the mid-70’s Hardy has been an active in the leather community and a member of many BDSM/Fetish organizations including Dallas Motorcycle Club, NLA-Dallas, Discipline Corps and a founding member of Inquisition-Dallas.

Professionally he is a marketing specialist and filmmaker. Outside work he is a gay activist, author & speaker on aspects of the SM/Leather scene. His books “The Family Jewels, A guide to male genital play and torment”, “More Family Jewels”, “Playing with Pain” And “Soul of a Second Skin” are available at Amazon.com and bookstores everywhere.

He was awarded NLAI’s Man of the Year award in 1999 and the NLA-I Lifetime Achievement award in 2007 and received the National Gay & Lesbian Task Force Leather Leadership award in 2010. In 2013 he was honored to be a judge at both IML and ILSb. He currently serves as the Chairperson of the Board of the Woodhull Sexual Freedom Alliance in Washington, DC.

Since April, 1995, he and his boy Patrick have been living together in Dallas with their Feline Mistress Elvira and troublemaker Jack-The-Cat.

Dec 162014
 

Did you know that NLA Dallas has a Facebook page? We do you can follow the link below to like it and keep up to date with Leather and Kink news from all over.

 

https://www.facebook.com/NLADallasTX