May 262013
 

Randy Pierce Celebration of Life… Keeping it real.
We invite our friends and family to come together and share some stories and laughter as we celebrate his life.

I have set up a GoFundMe account should anyone wish to contribute to Randy’s expenses and handicap modifications. Randy’s expenses come first so that he can make his final decisions based on wants rather than settling for something because of a lack of funds. gofundme.com/2vyv1g

We will be having a silent auction to be applied to his final desires. Dan Perry is organizing the auctions. The silent auction starts at 5:00 pm and will close at 8:30. The live auction will be at 7:30 pm with several key items, such as a 5 point sling, a vampire cape, several floggers and many wearable leather items.

If you would like to donate to the silent auction, please contact me at Boots@MsBoots.com or call 972-345-3437 to make arrangements for pickup/delivery.

In an effort to allow folks to play, eat and visit we have developed a very flexible schedule of events for the night. Randy wants to share stories of his life and experiences, so please feel free to roam about, play, eat and visit while he talks. This is intended to be very informal and casual.
Schedule: (subject to modifications)

5:00 doors open, eat, visit, play and silent auction
6:30 Words from Randy, Ms Boots and Hardy
7:30 Lyrics will be provided for a sing-a-long of American Pie.
7:30 -8:00 live auction
8:30 close of silent auction

This is a play party and everyone is encouraged to enjoy themselves. Besides, Randy does enjoy watching a hot scene. LOL If there is a lot of playing we have the option of extending the time frame.

Ms Boots

May 262013
 

Hello Y’all,

There are a few things coming up for this weekend and next.

1) Sunday May 26th Dallas Eagle Memorial day T-DANCE 2 pm till??? Cum and dance your ass off with all the hot menz.

2) Monday May 27th UCLSE Memorial Day BBQ hosted by Emperor Larry Harrell and Empress Messy Panocha at the Hidden Door  1-4pm   Mini show and baskets to auction.

3) Sunday June 2nd TGRA-Dallas Chapter meeting from 1-3pm at the Round Up

4) Sunday June 2nd TGRA-Dallas Sunday BBQ from 3-6pm at Hidden Door

As always the NTXCC Community Calendar is up and ready to help you plan your fun.

http://www.ntxcc.org/cms/community-calendar#year=2013&month=5&day=1&view=month

So click the link and view the calendar. If you want more info just click on the entry and get the details. If you have anything that should be added to the community calendar drop a line with the details to me at leatherboyleo@yahoo.com and I will get them listed.

Get out there and enjoy your community! Hope to see you!

Boy Leo

May 232013
 

Dennis C. Hartzog, M.Ed., LPC

Hi! Welcome to “Shrink Rap!” My hope is that this monthly column will be a safe place to discuss issues related to having a safe and healthy Kink/Leather/BDSM relationship. I encourage you to submit any questions you may have, or issues that you would like to see discussed to my website: www.Dchartzoglpc.com. You do not have to divulge your name or scene name, and can remain anonymous. If you go to the “Contact Me” page, just fill the first three boxes with “X’s” and put your question or issue in the message box and I will get it.

QUESTION:

My Mistress is younger than I, and new to the scene. We’ve been playing for about two months. There are a lot of things about the relationship that I like and enjoy. The problem is that she just doesn’t spend enough time with me after a scene providing aftercare. I really get into deep sub-space and I just feel that she’s being emotionally abusive by not taking the time with me afterwards that I need to make sure that I’m back to the “here and now.” I’ve discussed this with some friends, but not with her. She’s so new and not secure about her role and I don’t want to make that worse for her. She doesn’t understand my needs and I’m thinking of ending things with her to find someone more experienced. What do you think?

ANSWER:

I’ll answer your last question first: I don’t think that you’ve given your Mistress a fair chance to understand your needs. If you have never talked to her about your concerns that you are not receiving enough after-care after a session, I’m wondering how she would know that this is a problem for you. I don’t think that she’s being emotionally abusive. If you had talked to her about your after-care needs, and knowing that, she still choose not to spend more time with you, that could be considered emotional abuse. That is not the case however. No one can read our minds. It is our responsibility; Top/bottom, Master/slave, Dom/sub, Mistress/slave…all need to understand their emotional, psychological, physical, and spiritual needs and then communicate them openly and clearly to their partner(s). If we fail to do this, we are not being fair to our partners, or to ourselves. You said that she is “not secure about her role.” You can help her by giving her the information that she needs to be more effective in meeting your needs. Ending this relationship to “find someone more experienced” isn’t going to help much if you continue to withhold important information from whoever you choose to play with. This is a fixable situation: Just add a healthy dose of candid, honest, communication. Repeat often!

The number for the National Domestic Violence Hotline is:

1-800-799-SAFE (7233).

May 232013
 

Authored By: Robin

On May 19, a remarkable thing happened: members of the Leather/BDSM/Kink community: Beth, Dennis, and I, met with senior managers of the National Domestic Violence Hotline and the National Dating Abuse Helpline — and we were welcomed with open arms! A partnership was formed with potentially national impact. Given the historic lack of communication and trust between the social services community and ours, it’s hard to overestimate the significance of this accomplishment!

Some background: we learned that the National Domestic Violence Hotline (a federally chartered project), the National Dating Abuse Helpline, and the Texas Domestic Violence Hotline are all co-located in Austin. The DV Hotline has been operating for 17 years. The DV hotline alone handles over 211,000 calls per year, resulting in 136,000 referrals. They operate 24/7/365, but another 50,000 calls can’t be handled due to inadequate resources. All calls are anonymous. They have a three-fold mission: triage, assuring safety, and referral to local services in their nationwide data base, by direct connection or by referral to other resources. 96% of their cases are emotional/verbal abuse, 72% include physical abuse, and 7% include sexual abuse.

The reason for their interest: they have noted an upsurge in calls with BDSM-related content in the past two years. They can’t speculate on whether this represents a national trend, or whether people (especially younger callers) are simply more willing to talk about it. Either way, they feel the need to train their staff so that these calls are handled effectively.

After meeting the Hotline senior managers, we were given a tour of the facility; were able to watch Hotline operators taking actual calls; and were able to ask them questions about their work, the callers, and procedural questions.  After that we (Beth, Dennis and I) spent the majority of our three hour meeting understanding their needs. These include:
— general familiarity with the terminology and concepts of our lifestyle, so staff can understand what callers mean
— questions to ask, that will allow their staff to tell the difference between consensual play and non-consensual abuse
— a national data base for referrals to lifestyle-friendly local shelters and other resources, as well as online resources (remember that they get everyone, including many people whose only knowledge of our lifestyle comes from reading popular fiction, such as “50 Shades of Grey.”)
— If no lifestyle-friendly local service is available, coaching on how to use local services effectively: what to say to whom, etc.

Our next step will be a meeting next month in Dallas with their management team, to collaborate and plan training for all supervisors. We will work with them to develop the training for delivery this fall, face-to-face in Austin. Out of this will come further collaboration to plan and train all call center staff. The first training will be done face-to-face in Austin, in spring 2014. Then both training systems will be “packaged” for use on demand. At that point, they will also begin distribution of information (and possibly training) to their national network of call centers and service providers. In the long run, the biggest challenge may well be to assemble and maintain the data base of information and service referrals that they need. There will be PLENTY for everyone interested to do!

Meanwhile, the Hotline is interested in the groundbreaking survey of our community, now being designed by Beth. They even offered to explore the feasibility of offering their callers an invitation to participate in the research!

We could not be more excited by the enthusiastic reception we received! It is practically unprecedented for our community to “have a seat at the table” in the social services community on a national level. Thanks to Dennis for approaching them in a professional manner, and for persisting to make this meeting happen! We’re under way!

May 092013
 

I have been in contact with Ms. Jones, Director of the National Domestic Violence Hotline, whose administrative office is in Austin Texas as a part of the Texas Council on Family Violence. Lex, Beth, Rob, and i will be going to Austin on Friday, May 17th to discuss  in-service training to the National Hotline staff on issues facing DC victims from the Kink/Leather/BDSM community. After getting a better idea of what they are looking for, Lex, Beth, Artemis, Jim, hardy, Rob, and I will be developing the training this summer for the Hotline staff training in the fall.

Plans are progressing with Beth and a local university on the development and implementation of a “National Survey on intimate Partner Violence in the Kink/Leather/BDSM Community.”

Recent feedback that I have received indicates that nLA-I is not in a position to offer any support or financial assistance in the DV work NLA Dallas has taken on in their name. That presents a significant challenge to me both personally and professionally. How does one responsibly carry out the duties of one’s position representing a program that is a part of an organization, NLA-I, whose typical operating mode appears to be chaos?

Our local efforts no matter how important and ground breaking in nature are still under the umbrella of the NLA-I DVP… which when googled, appears dead in the water. I understand credibility… how it is earned, and more importantly how it is lost. NLA-I’s present problems, and lack of any type of plan to correct them, can at some point cause a serious barrier to the effectiveness of our local DV efforts.

NLA Dallas is on the verge of doing something really important for DV victims from our community. Our trip to the National DV Hotline office next week is a wonderful accomplishment. I am so grateful and appreciative to those working on this with me, but this optimism is tempered by a total lack of confidence in support for our efforts by the very organization, NLA-I, who owns this project and therefore, the fruits of our labors. I find this disturbing to say the least.

Respectfully submitted,

Dennis C. Hartzog, M.Ed., LPC

NLA-I DVP Representative